A Difficult Season

Kerry Croswhite Aquatic Center at the 2020 CHS Swim Banquet

I’m not sure this is going to be a “real” blog post, but I want to share a few thoughts.

Today is my first “official” day of break and I am exhausted. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. I think I am going to have to ease into this break and find distractions in order to incrementally decrease my level of stress. In addition, this will be the first time in nearly twenty years that I will not spend Christmas with my family in Kansas. While not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, it feels like another loss.

I recognize that this has been an extremely difficult season for many. Some of us have had to deal with challenges and stresses in daily life and work due to the virus. Others have experienced nearly unspeakable loss. Their lives have been changed forever.

I’ve had a really hard time figuring out what I am feeling. Anger. Disappointment. Stress. Loneliness. Overwhelm. Sadness. Frustration. More anger. To say it has been an emotional roller coaster would be an understatement. At the beginning of the pandemic (before I realized how bad things were going to get), I read this article in the Harvard Business Review: That Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief. I read it again last night and realized grief is probably the best way to describe my emotions. Giving it a name seems to be helpful. Maybe it will resonate with you.

With the vaccines coming, there is definitely hope on the horizon.

We are so close.

This is why I hope everyone — our leaders, our society, each one of us — will step up to love and protect our neighbors. Be smart. Follow mitigation guidelines. Make decisions that protect people. Every loss of life is tragic, and the death caused by this horrific virus has been staggering. But, when we are so close to help, I am hopeful we will do everything possible to protect each other and reduce the number of additional deaths. Short term sacrifices for immeasurable good.

As if 2020 hasn’t been enough, I will be turning fifty years old next week (seems fitting). All I ask for my birthday is that you read, and share this Twitter thread. It is an overview of how this pandemic has impacted my family and begins to explain my personal position on issues related to safety and COVID.

By sharing, or by donating, you can do a little bit to cultivate hope out of despair. Thank you for considering.

Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and warm wishes for a vastly improved 2021.

Be safe!

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